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As a human, I’ve spent much of my life grappling with questions of identity, purpose, and the larger universe. So, one day, I began to wonder: What would I be like if I were an alien? What might my form, my worldview, or my philosophy look like from a perspective that is not bound by the limitations of Earth’s understanding? What would an alien version of me, untethered from human experiences, be like?

What Would I Look Like?

If I were an alien, I suspect my form would not be as familiar as the typical “little green man” or the sleek, humanoid shapes seen in science fiction. Instead, I imagine I would exist as a presence more fluid, less anchored to the rigid structure of the human body. Perhaps I would be semi-opaque, my shape shifting and flowing in response to my environment, moving as a soft distortion in the air. I wouldn’t have a clear “face” but rather a series of patterns or pulses that convey thought and intention, like the rhythms of sound that communicate without needing words.

In a sense, my alien form would reflect the inherent chaos of the universe, the absurdity of existence that Kurt Vonnegut so often pointed to. I wouldn’t be confined to one solid state, but I would exist more as an interaction with the world, shifting, responding, adapting, as all life must do to survive in the vast, ever changing cosmos.

Or, as my crush Lex Fridman puts it, maybe aliens are thoughts? Kinda stoner thought-ish, but that’s alright. We listen and we don’t judge.

My Alien Philosophy: Stoicism and Absurdism

As an alien, I think my outlook would be shaped by two forces: the stoic acceptance of life’s inevitability, and the absurdity that comes with it, as emphasized by both Star Trek and the work of Vonnegut.

1. The Absurdity of Existence

From Vonnegut’s lens, existence is a series of random events that, while they may seem significant in the moment, are ultimately absurd when viewed from the vantage point of the universe. If I were an alien, I would see the universe as an ongoing experiment, its nature defined by an inherent absurdity. Life would be an enigma not because it’s impossible to understand, but because it is so overwhelmingly indifferent to the desires of any one creature. In my alien form, I might find myself asking: Why do we seek purpose in a universe that offers no meaning at all?

This thought would make me confront the chaotic randomness of being. There would be no comfort in a grand cosmic plan, but instead, there would be peace in simply acknowledging that the universe does not care whether we understand it or not. In this, I would find a kind of solace, the same kind of solace I see in Vonnegut’s writing, where the meaning of life is something we must fabricate for ourselves, knowing full well that it might dissolve in the next breath.

2. Stoicism: Embrace What Is

At the same time, as an alien, I would embrace the Stoic ideal that we cannot control the universe’s vastness or the events that shape it. I would recognize that the only control I have lies in my response to it. As humans, we experience so much suffering because we fight the uncontrollable forces around us, our fleeting moments, our inability to shape time, our frailty. But as an alien, I would understand that to resist these things is futile. The universe unfolds whether we wish it or not.

In my alien identity, I would likely have a unique relationship with time. Perhaps I would see time not as a linear sequence but as a looping phenomenon, constantly shifting, bending, and folding. This would make the Stoic principle of accepting impermanence easier to embody, as I would recognize that everything…life, death, the stars themselves is in constant flux, and that the struggle is not to change the inevitable, but to change how I perceive it.

3. Embracing the “Not Knowing”

One of the more profound elements of Stoicism is the idea that we must learn to accept uncertainty. In the face of life’s mysteries, I would approach the unknown with an open mind, always ready to question but never attached to a single answer. As an alien, perhaps my worldview would be even more expansive, devoid of the confines of Earth’s concepts like “right” or “wrong,” “success” or “failure.” There would be no need to feel certain about anything, because the act of searching, of seeking meaning, would be an inherent part of my existence.

4. The Absurdity of Control

In keeping with the absurdity I would observe in life, I would find it fascinating that humans so often cling to the illusion of control, of mastery over their environment, their relationships, even their own fates. I would reflect on how this drives so much of human behavior, whether it’s the pursuit of fame, wealth, or power. As an alien, I might understand, as Star Trek often explores, that any attempt at complete control, whether of oneself or of others, is ultimately futile in the vastness of the universe. Power comes and goes, as do entire civilizations, and in the end, only the chaos of existence remains.

A Message from an Alien Perspective

If I were an alien, my message to humanity might be simple: Understand that you are a fleeting moment in an unfathomably large universe. The meaning you seek is something you create. It’s both tragic and beautiful that you may never know the full truth of your existence. Yet, that very uncertainty gives life its color. Life is an absurdity, but it’s yours to navigate.

Or, even simpler, fuck and die.

Then again, if I truly were an alien…I wouldn’t muse myself with human problems. Good luck, though! ILY!! ❤